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5月25日 -![]() 晚上和友人在小意大利喝咖啡, 我沒有選擇黑咖啡, 盡管我懷念那份切底的苦澀。 我們坐在松軟的沙發上, 面對著店的門面。 盡管現實是立體的, 可我在這個長方形的店面里只看到了平面的景象, 就像一個電影院里面巨大的屏幕, 沒有天空, 沒有樹木, 只有一個繁華都市里面的一個小剪接。 我們在觀看現實的發生和動人, 那個線性的著述。 店面是個典型的長方形, 由左右兩面墻, 地面, 天花構成, 我們只看到了這個長方形里面的現實, 我不知到會有什么人從左邊墻出現在我們的畫面里, 我也不知到她消失在右邊墻后會發生什么事情, 我只能認識她3秒鐘的片面, 她的一個微笑, 一個動作, 一個告別。 呆坐著, 呆看著, 那個畫面是如何的真實而又遙遠。 后來我們離開了店, 走出了店面, 走進了畫面, 才恍然大悟, 我們不再是觀眾, 原來店面的左邊有著長長的一條街, 右邊是人跡繁忙的餐廳, 天花外有著一大片璀璨的夜空。 她問, 你的角色是什么? 我答, 一陣微風。 5月6日 -5月1日 - << 雨巷 >> 撐著油紙傘, 獨自彷徨在悠長, 悠長又寂寥的雨巷, 我希望逢著, 一個丁香一樣的, 結著愁怨的姑娘。 她是有丁香一樣的顏色, 丁香一樣的芬芳, 丁香一樣的憂愁, 在雨中哀怨, 哀怨又彷徨; 她彷徨在這寂寥的雨巷 撐著油紙傘像我一樣, 像我一樣地 默默行著 冷漠, 凄清, 又惆悵。 作者: 戴望舒 4月27日 -![]() If If a picture paints a thousand words, Then why can't I paint you? The words will never show, The you I've come to know. If a face could launch a thousand ships, Then where am I to go? There's no one home but you, You are all it's left me to. And when my love for life is running dry, You come and pour yourself on me. If a man could be two places at one time, I'd be with you. Tomorrow and today, Beside you all the way. If the world should stop revolving, Spinning slowly down to die; I'd spend the end with you, And when the world was through. Then one by one the stars would all go out, Then you and I would simply fly away. Music/Words: David Gates 作品原唱是Bread樂隊, 帶有濃厚七十年代的英倫hazy, 憂傷的書院味道。 翻唱的人甚多, 黎明時分聽原唱, 下午陽光普照時聽藤田惠美(Emi Fujita), 入夜聽莫文蔚 版本, 夜深人靜時, 留給鈴木重子(Shigeko Suzuki)的 滄桑。 點滴在心頭, 但愿坐到彎彎的月亮上歌唱給閃爍 的繁星。 4月26日 -3月7日 -![]() I was being asked, very kindly, on what would I do if I only have one week remaining to live? Upon what speculation should I draw the source from in order to answer this question? Or by what stimulation should I put myself into in order to perceive the tensioning atmosphere? And, who, would drift into my desperate mind of panic and terror? I am being informed, rather plainly, that I have one week to live. And then, it is all going to be concluded by a period mark, rather plainly. Clock is ticking fast as I write these words, rather consciously, I become to aware the irreplaceble existence of time, and, of life; with only traces of scribble lying, rather faintly, on the back of a movie ticket of my life. What would I do? What am I going to do? After such a detour in the jungle of thought and text? Never before the numbers on a movie ticket would mean so much to me, as if they start to count down the week of a life in the movie, and the movie of my life. If there is no if, and if there is no if, One Week, is more than enough to live a beautiful life. It is only for me to come to know, life should be lived in the absence of "if". And Ben Taylor speaks, rather silently, "To strive, to seek, to find. And not to yield." It is also only for me to come to know, life is heard when silence prevails....... 3月5日 .![]() The interchangeability of a banal life Perhaps for certain, I can no longer to sustain living on with the banality of this life. It's been sinking, deeper & deeper, Lack of courage, till it's breathless. I seek, for a change. But no light been shed for any direction. By what motivation or meaning, life is worthy to march on? Well, Play....... A clown, a king, or warrior....... You name it. I shall, To interchange my role, No longer who I am now, For something playful at least if not meaningful, To Live on. Surviving needs no reason. We, Reason its being. But reasoning collapses so often in the vacuum of emotions, No ground for it to hold, Except at the edge of a cliff. For it to become a life threatening determination; We, perhaps, Value of being banal, and not edgy. Perhaps for certain, I shall interchange, My being with a breath of fresh air, after a rain. 塵埃 在夕陽金黃的渲染里面, 盡管光束來刺殺眼睛, 我看到, 依然可見, 僅僅, 塵埃十面埋伏的涌動。 一顆, 又一顆, 孤獨地在光的框架中漫舞。 大概, 黑暗都淹沒了它們所有的存在。 以輕盈之軀來宣告自由吧, 盡管你從來沒有枷鎖。 以沉靜來細述故事吧, 盡管你的過去很遙遠。 也許, 你毫不計較; 人對于你來說是一個荒誕的無稽, 你對于人來說是一個無稽的荒誕。 兩袖清風, 請一路走好。 2月7日 -難得糊涂 又見先生, 別來無恙, 寒暄幾番, 入道正題。 言之國情, 頭頭是道, 口若懸河, 有著訴不盡的怨恨。 論及國人, 更是一番理直氣壯的指責和慨憤。 字里行間烏云密布, 容不下半絲陽光的滲透。 奈之問題的復雜和廣面, 付之本人的學識淺薄, 唯細嚼恭聽其一席“肺腑之言”, 唯徘徊于真真假假, 若有若無, 善偽良惡之口。 林語堂先生道之: - “我們要承認惟有偏見乃是我們個人所有的思想, 別的都是一些販賣, 借光, 挪用的東西。” - “世界上本沒有‘公論’這樣東西, 凡是誠意的思想, 只要是自己的, 都是偏論, ‘偏見’。 若怕講偏見的人, 我們可以決定那人的思想沒有可研究的價值; 沒有‘偏見’的人也就根本沒有 同我們談話的資格。 回顧先生之言, 誠意可嘉, 字字流露出其身豐厚的社會滄桑和自省, 固為先生本人的”偏見“而無異意。 其情操和執著乃有眾人皆醉, 唯我獨醒之意, 好不容易。 自愧尚無先生之敏銳和清高, 倘若他日我也道之浩浩不盡的”偏見“, 反而讓我憂心。。。。。 難得糊涂, 難得糊涂。。。。。 2月4日 -花 鶯 柳 梨 萬 游 春 春 外 啼 花 花 花 春 人 風 疏 陌 委 淡 飛 人 妝 吹 春 鐘 上 地 白 舞 在 束 面 送 人 芥 菜 春 畫 淡 薄 游 夕 歸 花 花 人 中 於 於 陽 去 香 黃 下 行 畫 紗 。 李 叔 同 一 九 一 三 年 浙 江 作 。 2月3日 -祈 寒 冷 幾 圓 霜 暖 許 夢 瀟 自 風 二 醒 瀟 知 雨 日 春 送 枕 來 一 人 懸 難 無 詞 間 心 眠 常 。 The Great Lake Swimmers - The man with no skin If I could crawl into a shell Then I would a mile away Things are heavy enough already And I really do think that's The best that I can do Stuck here and all And I really do think that Don't care at all Take a step forwards Don't be afraid Take a step backwards Don't be afraid So go on So look back Stuck inside a heavy shell Try to walk and not be pushed And the man with no skin I would not let him Would not let him sign off 'Cause nobody wants to see A beating heart Or a lung Or a brain Used to get so caught up Used to get so wrapped up Now I find myself feeling Disillusioned and emotionless Like I've been betrayed This world let me down In a big way Now I feel like a dog maimed Picking at fleas Picking at fleas And the man with no skin I would not let him Would not let him sign off 'Cause nobody wants to see A beating heart Or a lung Or a brain It's hard to walk With broken legs It gets hard to breathe Without lungs It's hard to love the world Without a heart What else should I cut out? Where do I start? And the man with no skin I would not let him Would not let him sign off 'Cause nobody wants to see A beating heart Or a lung Or a brain Start to grow a second skin To keep the insides in This one is obviously is not thick enough It's time to grow a second skin Keep the insides in And maybe get some longer and mask And maybe get some longer and mask And maybe get some longer and mask 10月13日 Fall |
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